My research was awesome! And then I talked with Jace on Tuesday and he loosely said "nah,"  and told me that my meta idea is good, but I should pick a topic in my field and not be all stressed out over something I'm not incredibly excited to do. (sigh)

But I did learn a lot and I found hundreds of resources that will help me in the future write much better, and I have a lot of tabs now bookmarked for future reference so maybe one day I can impress Jace. (sigh) 

I actually loved the readings, I found specific studies that I pointed out and directly attached them to others in the passage. They all used a lot of qualitative methods which mean they were potentially biased. And it's really hard, from what all of the studies have shown even, to compare one student to the next. 

I expect to see the knowledge gap growing in the future. If some kids start up with a cushy childhood like I did and some kids did not, I know that one lifestyle leads to a much greater advantage over the other. (strong feelings) I feel that because all children learn differently and have different odds stacked against them, that there's no real reason to ever compare them to each other. Learning should be tailored to meet individuals even a little bit, and not try and measure everyone with one scale. 

And when I don't match up to my peers in one aspect, I may in another. Which makes me feel a little bit better, but how fair is it that one area of me is stronger than the other but only one is measured across the board? 

I love being engaged. It's basically what has gotten me to this point. I understand the material for the most part. But often I struggle with getting the words right in the style that the teacher finds acceptable. I am good at talking with teachers and my peers. But I will definitely need help when it comes to taking feedback and understanding it without feeling awful every time. And I want to increase my knowledge. Growing up and experiencing different things has helped me learn and understand a lot more than just sitting reading a book. I've learned a lot from mistakes and asking for help. I am a bit of a snail though and need time to figure out and get to where I'm going. It's going to be a long learning process.