Time and distance.

Today we had an activity where we had a mock 30 second encounter with someone in an elevator who happened to be the person you're going into a job interview with.

I still didn't know my job, so I made it up. I said I'd work in foster care dealing with children and that being an RA would help me be prepared for working with kids.

In real life, I wouldn't refer to the job for reference or anything in an elevator. I'd make very polite small talk. Because knowing I would go into an interview with them gives me the upper hand. I can make an intensely polite impression and set work aside. Because I think it's important to not only be a good person at work, but also in a public normal setting. I know landing a job is important and you should throw out as much as you can, but i feel that real life is important too, and being amazing at a job will only get you so far. I've met people who are incredible at their jobs, and then at home are completely different people. I want to balance public and private. I want people to know what they get is what they get. Nothing fake for an interview, nothing I would never say to someone in real life over email. I want to be the same person in the elevator and in the workplace. I'm not one who will surprise bosses after I'm hired and turn into a jerk in the elevator.

My relationships I try to keep in a similar fashion. The mannerisms I project with people are, while different for each person, are all real and there. There is no tricking or becoming a jerk after a year. And with someone I like I want to be as real as possible. I'll be silly and serious all at the same time. No surprises. Because I would want my partner to be the same. I don't want someone to change how they act to me after a month. 

And I know I have my varying levels of dishonesty with all relationships, but just based on how I act, it's consistent at home and professionally as much as it can be. I want to be real no matter what. And if someone doesn't like me, then it's because I was being myself and not someone else. It often concerns me that someone could only love the mask I wear. So I try and have it be as transparent as possible, so they can see most just not all.