The little fuzzies

Those feelings you get after reading something so sweet. You wish it could happen to you. Laying in bed imagining these perfect moments that you or someone else has dreamt up and typed out. Ah. It makes me happy. 

There are moments I am so desperately waiting for. Like holding someone's hand, or, laughing late at night, or trying to lay together on a bed without giggling and knocking each other off. Dreaming about being with someone who makes me laugh and smile more than I already do. I can sit doing work at my desk, meet their gaze in the other corner of the room and grin like an idiot and hear their laugh. These moments balanced out with falling asleep telling stories or reading poems or listening to music. Talks about the universe and how we would run the world if we could. Asking questions back and forth while staring at the ceiling on different ends of the bed. Being able to be separate people, who might miss each other, but are able to be themselves at the end of the day. Late night calls or texts just saying something sweet.

Someday I'll be able to close my eyes and listen to someone's heartbeat, trying to time it with mine. I'll get to point out things I love and admire, without worrying how dorky they might sound. Flipping back and forth from cute to serious each sentence. Taking walks through the park and pointing out all of the birds. I'm waiting for the person who I can make laugh and smile all the time, just by being myself. Completely myself. No holding back. The worries of being rejected lost over years of being together. Still not forgotten, but pushed back further and further from my mind. 

I'm exhausted still. I have work to accomplish. Things I need to do. (Finishing my Honduras class....) but I'll get it all done. I'm not worried. There are bigger things beyond this.