Don't worry, I'm not dead. In fact, it's a new start for me. So, due to my high stress and anxiety, I don't think the guy and I are going to work out. Which is alright! One less to look at in the grand scheme of life.
Anxiety sometimes get the best of me... I worry too much. It's a bit of social anxiety. I want people to like me, i constantly worry about what others are thinking, I have to make sure everyone's happy, etc.
The boy anxiety, is more of me being insecure. Which also happens. I'll find someone down the road with qualities I enjoy. Hell, I've done it a few times before. Eventually I'll get it right. For now, I'm ok being me.
The car ride was filled with me trying to raise my eyebrow and listening to music and ignoring life talks. Financial things, adult things, etc that I just can't deal with right now. I'll get to them. I had nerves about today, first day as an RA in training. I have my own room with a double balcony in a perfect location. I love where I'm at. I set up my room all nice with my big chair that I bought. Everything is all clean. I hope I'm ready for the retreat tomorrow. It involves climbing and things. Scary.
Bright and early.... Another morning. But I hope I get to sleep in the van. 2 hours is a long way.
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