Ah Internet dating/searching. Well I haven't been here in about 6 months so I'd better make a blog post about it.
So I get there's a "thing" with Internet dating because it's not the "safest way" to meet people, but since I was EHEHEMMM17EMHMM I thought it was just fine. And there were a few different apps I've used to connect with guys around the world, yes... Around the world. But I always ended up having to take a break because sometimes it gets overwhelming. And after the break I seem to always come back to this place of, "why not, maybe this time..." One-liner I feed myself. Through this way, I've learned a lot about myself and met a lot of guys who were actually pretty cool and made some "friends" I kept around for about 3 months before life got in the way and we up and just stopped talking. (Friends in quotes because it's never been true best friendship because we both didn't go into it thinking that way. Not FWB. Sickos. Though there were plenty of guys I talked to for 2 minutes who wanted that, still, nothing in the "physical" realm happened. If that makes sense.)
But I've come to learn, every now and again you see someone who you could see yourself with truly. There have been a couple guys who, from their witty bios and things, I felt I could really connect to and would love to hang out with. I guess from their similar interests and things. And then they just disappear. But those moments give me a bit of hope that I'll find someone through the internet I really like. (Which is terrible because I shouldn't keep coming back to these things.)
The last time I was talking with 2 guys who both ended up not right for me for different reasons. And I picked good guys, it just wasn't the right circumstances I don't think. One was in another country and the other in another state who had gotten out of a serious relationship not too long ago. So I don't think either one was in the right mindset. (Clearly I'm leaving things out but this blog has my full name on it, and even though it's impossible to find I'd rather not go into detail.)
I'm still looking for guys, both "trying to meet people" and through the Internet dating thing. I have some apps that I keep around just as a confidence boost that some attractive person thinks I'm attractive too. (It's not as sad as you think.)
Sifting through a good bit of guys has given me a lot of life experience, to be honest. I have learned a lot about guys, and about myself. There are choices I've made that I'm not exactly proud of, but for the huge decisions I've managed to do what's right for me and they've turned out well. There's still a lot of inner turmoil, and I have frequent flashbacks. But overall, it's a good experience and I always come out of it with a new perspective and new knowledge.
(Still can't go to sleep.)
I don't do the day at the top because these are posted right after they're finished.
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