Stupid Heartbreak

You know, love is a lot like betting. Or stocks. And losing makes you feel like absolute _insert curse word here_. I have been crushed a bit by two guys in the past month. Sigh. I don't want to explain it in anything other than metaphors. I like metaphors.

Getting hit in the chest by a small truck.

Having a small child bodyslam your chest.

All those lovely things, metaphorically speaking, are rejection. Right down to the core. I feel it in my chest every single time. But, I get up and move on. 

The seasons changing.

Winter comes and goes often for me. There is a constant freezing, cracking, and melting cycle in my heart. And each time I try and believe that I'm stronger; that it won't hurt as much as it did last time. Yet someone comes along and wrecks that idea because I decided to put so much stock in them believing they were different. 

And then I listen to the same sad songs over again because I'm crushed.

In a few months, even a few weeks I'll have someone else I'm interested in who makes me feel like the stars. Someone else who's messages I'll save. And the cycle continues.

I always think "this one is different," especially the one I was just talking to because he was so much like me, I thought...

But I guess that's what I get for thinking. 

The world spins forward. And distance creates rifts between people who realize different parts of themselves over time. It's too hard to keep up. I've said this so many times, that, if you're always around someone and constantly reminded of their existence, then your love will either be great or fail. But distance breaks the chance of finding out because you become different people without the other realizing it. It's not just physical distance, it's mental distance. 

So, time to start again?