RANT

Time to rant. 

OK. So I just talked to my dad. And he's in Costa Rica. Now, this wouldn't be an issue, if recently he wasn't in nyc seeing a jazz band. 

Now, I'll admit, I'm jealous. But that's ok. 

I also can guess who he's with. Which I don't really want to discuss. Just one week until therapy; I'm holding out. 

I think my issue is more that, I could have some of that money, for me, to live. I guess it's different when you don't have kids to spend money on. But, whatever. 

I could ask my dad for money, I'm thinking about asking for help getting a car. But I don't really like asking for things. Not that there's really any other way of going about it especially with my dad, but I have this urge to not want to do that. I know he has money, and I feel like I'm entitled to some of it because I'm still his kid and struggling. My dad and mom pay the same amount to my college fund. But he makes 3 times more. In a perfect world, or even an altruistic one, my dad would give money to me to live. Which occasionally he does, but I have to nudge for it.

I never wanted to become like that "zits" comic strip where Jeremy always asks his parents for money and that's it. And I have anxiety trying to ask for help. But what else can I do?

The level of "so unfair" is high. And I'm feeling it. I'm going to take a nap now.