Self Efficacy Homework... Yes.

Anxiety is one of those things I have constantly struggled with, especially in testing situations. It has certainly changed how I write, especially at the college level. There are often many different barriers that I have to overcome in order to finish a paper. In a given time, there is so much going on that writing a paper is just another beast and not a part of the learning process anymore. I know that I can ultimately write a decent paper, but over the course of my college career it has become harder to care enough about the process and the product, especially with the constant feedback telling me how I am misguided, with no other option from my professor. 

Bloom and Broder's idea that a problem solver cycles through tension and relaxation and once the problem is solved the solver feels finished despite how well done it is resonated strongly with me. Often when revising papers I struggle with fully looking at the work from a different perspective due to my sickness from wrestling with the initial process. 

Locus of control is not a new concept for me either, I just was unaware that it had a name. I would like to believe that there is some fate deciding which papers are graded well and which aren't. But even so, that would mean fate was working against me anyways. I have understood for a long time that my writing and my grades come from what I put in them. Even though I have a desire for "pleasing eternal authorities" so that I can graduate, I know that my writing has a sense of self because I know where the paper comes from and the grade attached. 

Cognitive processing of information is selective, and it is mostly not used when I write papers. When I am learning about certain topics, I immediately connect it to my life or my view on the world. Specific material is influential on my life because it explains parts of the world or how people operate or why something is. When writing a paper, I have this mental block because I know the research that I am doing may not necessarily make me a better person. 

All three of these variables have impacted my sense of self-efficacy in a negative way. There are a lot of other influences from my life that also have molded my view on my writing, but overall, I know if I work hard enough I can write a great paper. I just need help because alone I cannot do it anymore.